Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
