My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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