im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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