his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
