Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
