You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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