There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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