Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
