Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
