is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
