Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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