She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I sprained my soul last night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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