I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
