The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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