Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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