there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
