Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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