I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
