what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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