You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
