i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
