yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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