just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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