I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
