I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
