This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
