yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
