well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
