ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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