do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
