Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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