I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
