you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i believe in u and ur pee
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
