They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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