I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
