says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
