Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
