dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
