oh god the rape fog is back!
only if we run a train.
done.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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