So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
