Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
