It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
