fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
