just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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