I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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