i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
