A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
