Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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