No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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