idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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