is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
