Your mouth is God's brothel.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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