my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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