Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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